12 Rights Due to Our Parents

We all come into the world the same way: through our parents. This list will help new Muslims make sure they are giving their parents their rights.

1. 1. Dutifulness: Do things for your parents. Make sure that you are in their service to the best of your ability.  This includes physically helping them out at home, running errands for them, and calling them frequently to check up on their welfare.

   2. Obedience: Islamically, the age of 18 does not give a person the right to ignore the wishes of their parents.  We should obey our parents in everything they tell us to do, except those things that go against the commands of God. Obedience to God is supreme.

   3. Speak to them politely and gently: Imagine how you would speak to a famous world leader. Now speak to your parents in a better way.  Our parents cared for us when we were difficult to deal with, so if we experience some difficulty in caring for them, we should remind ourselves of this fact. Politeness and gentleness should flow through our speech to our parents.

   4. Humility: No matter how old or helpless our parents become, we must be humble when dealing with them.  We must always remember, as is mentioned in the Quran several times, the hardship that came with their care for us.  They gave up a lot of comfort, were humble and generous so we could survive.

   5. Pray for them: Pray to God for their health, their livelihood, and for their guidance in this life as often as you remember.

   6. Don’t curse or disrespect others’ parents: This may cause others to curse or disrespect your parents. Every parent deserves respect.

   7. Respect your parents’ their family, relatives and friends during their lifetime. Even after their death continue to show respect to whomever they kept in touch with and were close to. Keep in touch with and care for those special to your parents even after your parents pass away.

   8. Share good information: Anything beneficial you learn that can help your parents, you should share with them. This includes information about God and our relationship with Him. Offering this information in the kindest way as sincere counsel is a great good deed.

   9. Befriend your parents: Establish a closeness to them, which will increase your love and affection to them. Examples of this are to consult them and take from their life experience, and to give them gifts all the time.

   10. Be considerate of their culture and habits: There is probably a small fraction of the culture you came from that is opposed to Islam. Do not disrupt the habits and culture of your parents, and be considerate of their feelings.

   11. Changing the name your parents gave you is a huge insult to your parents. If you so choose, don’t use your new name around your parents.

   12. Invest in your parents: Try your best to bring joy to your parents’ hearts. Get to know them better to find out what is dear to them, and be creative in how you invest your time and energy in establishing a solid, caring relationship with them.

May God Almighty bless us with consideration and good manners in regards to our parents, the people through which God brought so much mercy and care, who cared for us and still do.

How the New Muslim can Celebrate Eid on their Own

Sometimes you can be alone, in a room full of people.  New Muslims often feel like that, even if the room is full of other Muslims.  Sometimes it’s because the convert is the only Muslim in the room. This is a feeling new Muslims can have any time of year, but it can be especially challenging to feel this way on Eid Day as it is the day of celebration for Muslims.

A sister I met treats Eid like any other day. She doesn’t take off work, and behaves as though it is any other day. She attended the Eid congregation service, out of obligation, but felt out of place. She was single and not married with no family or loved ones among the Muslim community with whom to share the day.

I recommended that she at least go out for dinner, or treat herself out. This is, after all, a day we are commanded to eat and have fun!

New clothes for a new Muslim

It is encouraged to purchase and wear new clothing on Eid day for those who can afford it. This is a great time to get some new clothes. Even if you can’t get to an Eid congregation service, you will get a lift of spirits wearing something new.

Eid day without Eid Congregation

If you don’t live near a place that offers Eid congregation services for Muslims, or you just can’t go, you can still worship God on this day.  Remember God the best way you can during the day.  Thank Him for allowing you to reach the end of Ramadan, and beg him to accept what good you were able to do during the month. Renew your intention to keep up good habits formed during Ramadan.

Part of what Muslims do on their way to attend Eid congregation services is to make ‘Takbir’, which is a prayer for the glorification of God stating ‘God is greater than everything and anything’. Repeat this prayer as often as possible, beginning at sunset on the eve of Eid, all through the night until when Eid congregation service is usually offered, before noon. There are different forms of saying the prayer. The most complete form is “God is the Greatest! God is the Greatest! There is nothing worthy of worship except the One True God. God is the Greatest, God is the greatest, and for Him is all the praise.”

Treat yourself this Ramadan

Three Steps to Ramadan: How the early Muslim community learned to fast

Muslims today wake up before dawn to prepare for the fast, they fast all day, and then they break fast at the setting of the sun. Did you know the rulings for fasting went through a few changes during the ministry of the Messenger of God? Read on to learn the gradual stages that fasting went through in the early days of Islam.

To fast, or not to fast? That was a question!

Big consequences for Missing the Breakfast Meal

If the Muslims did not break their fast at sunset, however, they could not eat until the following pre-dawn meal. One of the early Muslims came home on a day he was fasting, and fell asleep before breaking his fast. He also missed the next morning’s early meal, and then passed out in the middle of the next day.

Some of the Muslims admitted to the Messenger of God that they had relations with their wives in the nights of Ramadan.

When this story about the man passing out, and these admissions were made, God revealed, “It is permissible for you to lie with your wives during the night of the fast: they are as close as garments to you, as you are to them. God was aware that you were betraying yourselves, so He turned to you in mercy and pardoned you..” 2:187

The early Muslims were delighted that they were allowed to have intimacy during the nights of Ramadan and not have to fast until right before dawn.

The Fast we Know

After that, another verse was revealed which made fasting an obligation for everyone, and paused fasting all night until the pre-dawn meal.  God revealed, “..So any one of you who sees in that month should fast, and anyone who is ill or on a journey should make up for the lost days by fasting on other days later. God wants ease for you, not hardship.  He wants you to complete the prescribed period and to glorify Him for having guided you, so that you may be thankful.” 2:185

Every person who was present when Ramadan came was to fast the month. Those who were sick or travelling at the time could make up for the days later, and the rule remained that the weak and the elderly could feed people instead of fast.

It’s enlightening to know about the gradual stages of the revelation of the Quran and the gradual rulings about different aspects of Islam.  God willing, this will motivate you for the rest of this blessed month.

Good news for You, the Sincere Convert to Islam

Fasting takes practice. And a lot of energy. And self-control. Sometimes you can actually hear the argument that your stomach gives you when you fast!

God knows how hard it is for you to do what you do for His sake.  He knows your intention, and He will reward you greatly.

Converts to Islam don’t have nostalgia or family culture to comfort them during Ramadan.  They perform the prescribed ritual devotions, fast, read the Quran and offer prayers that are foreign to their own cultural customs and traditions.  They believe wholeheartedly in a Messenger that they have never even seen.

Did you know that the Messenger of God mentioned such people over 1400 years ago?

The Messenger of God once was with his disciples and said, “I wish I could meet my brethren.”

The Messenger’s disciples said, “Are we not your brethren?”

The Messenger said, “You are my companions and disciples, but my brethren are those who believe in me although they have never seen me.”

May God bless us to be among those people that the Messenger of God mentioned so long ago!

In the Quran there is also good news for the sincere new Muslim:

“Those who believe in God and His Messengers are the truthful ones who will bear witness before their Lord: they will have their reward and their light…”(57:19)

So take heart, and welcome this great news from the Messenger of God and the Quran that you are on the right path, and your reward is certain if you are sincere.

May God bestow on us sincerity and purity of intention, and the capacity to do all the good we intend to do in this month, and always!

What New Muslims can do in Ramadan when Not fasting

Fasting and Ramadan are synonymous, aren’t they?  Those who are not fasting during Ramadan don’t exactly broadcast the fact.  Sometimes it can seem like if you can’t fast, there’s no point to celebrating Ramadan. It can either be due to illness, or the monthly break Muslim ladies will have from the prescribed ritual devotion due to the menstrual cycle.

Good news!  There is much more to Ramadan than just fasting!  Don’t think about all that you can’t do, and take a look at the list of the things that you can do this Ramadan:

1. Realize that this condition is something that God decreed.  His plan is perfect and His timing is perfect.  Don’t feel sad, but try to be content that God has allowed you this time for you to explore other areas where you can draw near to Him.  Here’s an amazing thought: you are worshiping God by NOT offering the prescribed ritual.  You are obeying God’s command to refrain from offering the prescribed ritual devotion and fasting while on your menstrual period.

2. Pray anyway.  No I don’t mean offer the prescribed ritual devotion, I just mean pray to God. Prayer has no prerequisites or conditions of ritual purity. You simply talk to God when you feel like it.

3. Keep your connection with the Quran.  Continue to listen and read the translation of the Quran during your period while you refrain from the ritual devotion and the fast. If you set aside the time of each prescribed ritual for Quran, you might even read more than usual!

4. Learn and say the daily supplications for different occasions: going to sleep, waking up, eating, leaving the house etc.

5. Prepare some food to share with others.  Perhaps your family or neighbors would appreciate something you’ve made for yourself. Ramadan is a month of charity!

6. The self-control and patience that fasting helps develop should be kept up during the time when you refrain from fasting.  Continue to guard your tongue from saying bad things, and protect your ears from hearing bad things or being silent when someone is saying something evil.

7. Donate clothes, food, toys, money etc

God decreed this time as a mercy for Muslim women.  You are relieved of the burden of offering the prescribed ritual devotion and fasting, so that you can concentrate on other ways to worship God.  May God help you be consistent in your worship through the whole month.

Battling Loneliness during Ramadan

Although Ramadan is known for those who are born Muslim as a time of community and family gatherings just like any typical holiday season, for the new Muslim it’s just not.

The New Muslim Academy forums are busy with activity all year. Why not join the discussion?  Great pains are taken to ensure that all students are converts to Islam, so you will be discussing Ramadan, breaking fast alone, predawn meals in secret and other topics with people that are going through the same struggles that you are experiencing.

The charity that you spend on your family and neighbors is also greatly rewarded. Consider inviting a few non-Muslims, who are close to you, love you and accept you for who you are, over while you break your fast.

Have mercy on yourself and make it a potluck, explaining your dietary restrictions, and the time of day that you will be breaking your fast. The fastest way to a person’s heart is through his/her belly!

May God bless your heart with gratefulness and satisfaction in your chosen faith and Way of God, and may He ease your emotional hurt of loneliness this Ramadan.

What Fasting Does for You

Body:

Soul: